Body size is in your head. Whether you are a size 4 or size 24, it doesn’t matter. I am convinced that most people either see themselves as thin or see themselves as chubby and it has very little to do with the actual number on the scale or what you actually, physically look like. What you see in the mirror is a false image. You could just as easily be looking at the wall and see yourself in whatever predetermined way you have always described yourself. Once a chubby girl, always a chubby girl. Most of us decide we are a chubby girl or a thin girl at a very young age. Our internal picture has been drawn. And it doesn’t really matter what we look like as we get older—we can gain or lose wait—get wrinkles—get softer—and our self-image is the same.
In my life, I have been a size 4 and a 14 and even a 20. And I have basically always felt chubby. I have wondered what it would be like to look in the mirror and see a thin person. But even as a size 4 I worried I wasn’t thin. I worried about being invited to pool parties or to the lake—what if I had to wear a bathing suit? And I was a size 4, mind you! Most people would have killed to have my shape. But I still felt self-conscious and uncomfortable. I always wondered what it was like to be thin. I mean really thin. Thin on the inside. Because I have been thin on the outside. But I have never been thin on the inside. What was it like to be excited to go to the pool with friends? To not worry about going to the beach or the lake. To confidently put on that bathing suit or sundress and walk out of the house. What must that feel like? To be thin on the inside. And keep in mind, there are plenty of people who think they are thin and are not. People that keep buying that smaller size— bonus tip everyone-- just because you can zip it doesn’t mean it fits.
I heard someone say once, “I wish I was as thin now as I was when I thought I was fat.” Holy smokes, that is so true. Because I have never been thin. Even at my thinnest. Because thin is in your head. The key to a healthy weight has nothing to do with a number. It is all about you recognizing your inner self—the pretty, the smart, the thin one! And I promise you, she is in there.
Over the years I have discovered my perception of reality is not always the complete story. Today I feel differently. Today, I like me! And I feel good about me! Sometimes friends, well-meaning friends of course, want to fix me, they think I need their weight loss pills, supplements, or exercise program. That I would be happier or healthier or more energetic or whatever if I just got healthy. Guess what? It is no longer about what they see. It is about what I see. And I AM healthy. And I am happy. And doggone it, people like me. Wait. I think I just lapsed into a rendition of Stuart Smalley. But you get the idea. For those of you that have ever felt uncomfortable in your shape—large or small-- Here is what I have learned. Here are 3 ways to start seeing the real you today!
First, Thin is in your head. Get out of your own head. There are thin people that think they need to lose weight. We see it on social media every day. The person who posts pictures of their scale bemoaning how they need to be on a “strict” program because they aren’t happy with their weight. The friend who posts “before” and “after” pictures where the before picture is thinner that most of the population. And it can have an impact on us. If you let it. I stress, if you LET it. Stop letting other people’s definition of happy or healthy or pretty define you. From this day forward it is only about you.
Second, allow your loved ones to be right. When they say they say you are gorgeous, believe them! Let yourself see what your loved ones see. And believe what they tell you! They see you through a lens or of love and compassion and grace. They see the inside of you and they love you! We hear a loved one say we are beautiful—someone that we respect and admire in all other areas of life—and think they must be mistaken. They must need glasses. We need to start believing them. Learn to say thank you instead of ignoring them or making the case for why they are wrong, Often times, they can have a better, clearer picture of the beauty you hold within.
Third, remember that whatever the image you see in the mirror is changing every day. You are a work in progress, And if you don’t love what you see well, take action to change it. Every day we are molded and shaped. Take control of those changes embrace the molding of that precious, God given image that is uniquely you! And know that it is one step at a time. I always say one good decision at a time. I don’t have to change everything today. Or even change everything forever. I just need to make one good decision right now. In this moment. And then I will deal with the next moment when I get there. Cross one bridge at a time. Self-growth and self-love, learning to give yourself grace doesn’t happen all at once. It isn’t all or nothing, it is one decision at a time. What good decision can you make today?
And most importantly, always remember, when seeking a glimpse of your value—a little proof of the beauty you possess-- always look in the right place. Don’t look in the mirror and see a false image. Don’t look at the wall and ignore the real picture. Look in the window and see the reflection of the beauty you are on the inside. You are a window to your inner soul. And that is where the all the good stuff is sitting. Let that person out… because she is amazing. I promise!
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