I recently wrote a brand, spanking-new keynote presentation titled “Leading a Life of Impact” I have discovered most of us have a desire, a pull to do more, be more, make a bigger impact or leave a lasting impact on the world. Or at least those close to us. And I am convinced, I am not the only one who has thought how the heck do I do that?
I was that kid in school. Every report card I received from about 3rd grade on, the teacher added that helpful little bit of advice “Julie has so much potential! If she would just apply herself.” I hated that. And I know I spent way too many years of my adult life living in mediocrity. Afraid of that message. Because there was that voice in my head that said what if they are wrong? What if I DID apply myself and I failed? What if I failed? Then one day out of the blue, I heard a new voice. And this time it said, “What if I soar?” That was a transformational moment for me. What if I did? What if I tried and I soared!? I knew I needed to start taking the chance. I had to be brave.
As a professional speaker people say to me all the time that they could never do what I do. They could never speak in front of an audience; that they were terrified to speak in front of people! And I tell them… me too!! I am scared to death to step out on that stage! Every. Single. Time. Just like other people, maybe even you, I think what if I fail? People think I have so much confidence. And maybe I do…now. But people confuse confidence with bravery all too often. My mentor and coach, Erin Whitehead, taught me that confidence is the memory of winning. It’s not confidence that gets you to do it the first time, it’s confidence that keeps you doing it! What gets you to do it in the beginning is bravery. John Wayne said, “Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway.” I love this!! And it is so true! Bravery means that it’s time to step outside of our comfort zone and take the risk. And you might fail. And that’s OK, it’s not the end of the world. But… what if you soar? You will never build confidence if you never take a chance. Bravery is the real skill.
How do we do it? How do we learn to be braver and take more risks in our life? I will share a couple of things I have learned in my life.
First, you must acknowledge your fears. It’s OK to say, “This scares me!” IF you follow that with “I am going to do it anyway!” When you acknowledge the elephant in the room – that you are scared – it takes away the power. Then you can CHOOSE to act. Mind over matter is real.
Second, taking action does not have to be all or nothing. Sometimes the key is small steps. Instead of feeling like you must go all in, can you go part way in? Can you break it down into small steps that are more manageable and build that confidence? Remember, it’s the memory of winning and small wins count.
Third, trust your instincts. You have more power and inner strength than you give yourself credit for, tap into that. Believe in your own intrinsic value. You are stronger than you know.
Fourth, give yourself grace. You may not be perfect at first. Or ever. But you don’t have to be, no one is. Allow yourself to be OK with that and try again tomorrow.
And lastly, let your desire to lead a life of impact be bigger than your fear. There is that great saying, “Well behaved women rarely make history.” Take the risk. Make your own history. And live and lead a life of impact. And that is being brave.
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